Friday, October 30, 2009

F E A R.

My body has awoken me much earlier than normal this morning.
I have awoke in fear of the what the day has to bring. The radio tells me that Mother Nature has thunderstorms and harsh rain in the forecast for quite a few days to come - considering the circumstances this forces my heart to beat faster with nerve. What a gloomy day for such a terrible occasion. I figure it is best that I pack my things now. Prevent my parents the trouble of searching through my room. I figure it is best that I say my parting words now, in fear of the tears that shall break.
I wonder who will notify my teachers? my grandmother? my family? Will that be me too? Do they even really need to know? In actuality, they probably knew long before. I have been struggling with school for a very long while now. Maybe my stay will somehow miraculously help me with this. Either way - I have become rather sure my teachers are aware. I am sure that my parents would notify these individuals... I'd hope.
I am not set to leave until just after one this afternoon. I have awoken before the sun even, and I have no idea what I should do with myself. I could try to go back to bed, I'd suppose - but I"m not sure that I could. Each attempt at shutting my eyes, just ends in quite the tragedy. As my vivid imagination takes the front seat in my mind.
I feel both excitement and fear. Excitement - for the simple fact that this may actually work. I may be free of the monster whom has been destroying my soul for so long. And fear because it may not work. It may fail devastatingly. I would very much not like to fall subject to any of their experiments. I have decided to fake my recovery if I do not see my own results. This is the only way I can guarantee that I will break free into this hellhole of a world again.
I have been locked within my mind for so long, that I would hate to be locked away physically as well...
Oh, I feel the fear.

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps this is experimental fiction. Perhaps you are having fun on Halloween weekend, but you should know that you are a good writer, and that I am a little worried for you.
    I just wanted you to know that.